Skip to main content

Anger. . .But Not the Grief Kind

The Five Stages of Grief (Kubler-Ross Model):
1.  Denial
2.  Anger
3.  Bargaining
4.  Depression
5.  Acceptance

Wikipedia States:
Kübler-Ross claimed these steps do not necessarily come in the order noted above, nor are all steps experienced by all patients, though she stated a person will always experience at least two. Often, people will experience several stages in a "roller coaster" effect—switching between two or more stages, returning to one or more several times before working through it.

I have been in the grief stage of anger most of the last 3 weeks.  Feelings of "why me?", and "it isn't fair" are a kind of anger.  I think I was in a bit of denial at first and sometimes still float back there, but mostly I am stuck in the anger stage.  I am not feeling a screaming, want to throw something, or hurt someone kind of anger.  The statement "Why Me?" completely sums up the anger I am feeling.  I am in no hurry to leave this stage.  In fact, I am not doing any thinking at all about the stages.  I know I may or may not pass through them at some time.  I figure if it happens, it will just happen.

I have been "throw something" angry about other things, but I wouldn't include these feelings in the Kubler-Ross Model.  I have had these feelings of anger as long as I can remember.  Here are a couple of examples:

  1. Elevators.  Elevator etiquette really came to my attention when we were in the hospital with Tripp.  There are some unwritten rules and it ANGERS me when people don't follow them.  First, let the people off the elevator before you get on.  Secondly, there is a set order to getting on the elevator even though a line-up hasn't been formed.  The people waiting the longest get on first.  
  2. Drivers.  On Circle Drive or any two lane highway the left lane is for passing.  Do not drive in the left lane directly beside a car in the right lane at the exact same speed.  Do not pass a car if you are only going to pass them at 1 km/h faster than they are going.
  3. Residential Driving.  I know speeding happens, but don't do it in a residential area (especially not on my crescent).  Last year I almost threw a gardening tool at a truck who flew by our house at an obscene speed.  And yesterday when we were out splashing in puddles a truck stopped thinking we were trying to cross the street (we were standing in the middle of a block).  We weren't trying to cross.  Since we were just waiting for the driver to pass so Calder could go out and splash some more, Hugh waved the man in the truck on.  The driver then, apparently annoyed and mad, did some sort of brake stand as he slammed on the gas to race off.  In the mean time, he shot rocks everywhere, including right at us.  (My patience is small right now and I may or may not have made an obscene gesture at him.)
About a year ago my sister, Jes, was doing some reading and came across a disorder called Low Tolerance for Frustration (LTF).  Basically, if you get even a bit frustrated you tend to snap.  She has self diagnosed herself as having this disorder and if you know my sister you would probably agree with her diagnosis.  She was just pumped to find out that there was an actual condition that could explain how quickly she tends to get angry at things.

She was explaining this to my parents shortly after she made this diagnosis and my dad quickly concluded that he too was suffering from a disorder, LTSP.   Apparently, my dad has self diagnosed himself as having Low Tolerance for Stupid People.  You won't find this in any medical textbooks, but my dad definitely has it (and maybe I do too)!


  1. Hehehe, that is so your dad. Too funny!

  2. I without question have LTSP. I try to hide it sometimes but it is usually quite evident in my face.

  3. when my sister died six years ago, I was angry for a long, long time. Years even. I wasn't mad that she had died but because she didn't take care of herself. She also lied when she said she got regular pap tests done. (She died of cervical cancer). Its taken years (I think about 4) to get over this. Now I just wish she was here and healthy.


Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

What I'm wearing

After my Simons' flop, I recently picked up three pairs of jegging capris at Costco. I think they were about $16 each. I got them in grey (above), teal (also above), and white. I absolutely love them and have been wearing them like crazy. My favorite of the two outfits is the bottom one. The jean jacket is Mavi and I HIGHLY recommend it. In fact, I recently bought another. Exact same style, different wash. This jacket was recommended by both Deena and Christy, so you really can't go wrong. The scarf is one I picked up this spring (Gap). I heart orange and teal. Last week I mentioned trying to define my signature look and that bottom one pretty much encapsulates it. . .
And here it is again. LOVE this one too. Cardigan and scarf are recent purchases along with the grey tee (Old Navy). Jeans are old (American Eagle) and shoes are old (Nine West). I can't wait to recreate this one!
These. Jeans. (Gap). I can't get enough of them. I wore them to professional development o…

Calder Update

Has Calder ever gotten into sports the last couple of months!?! Below he is at a Rush lacrosse game with Hugh and his buddy Kohen. Calder has been watching baseball, lacrosse, and now the hockey playoffs like crazy. In fact, he has stopped asking to watch any of his "shows". He just wants to watch sports. Oh. . . and add NASCAR to that list. Our boy loves his cars. I don't think that will ever change!

Here is Calder's funniest shark tooth yet. His permanent tooth pushed through in front of his baby tooth!  It was like this for weeks. No gap toothed grin for this boy! Below is the day it fell out!
Calder is doing so well in school. His teacher speaks of what a great student he is. Hearing her say these things actually makes me wish he used a few more manners and a bit more kindness at home! LOL. But, if he is going to be on his best behavior somewhere, I want it to be when we aren't around. Although it was great to hear about Calder's learning successes at pa…


All of Hugh's hockey buddies call him "Hammy".

Hugh has been calling Calder "Ham" for a long time. I can't even remember when it started.

Calder started calling Boone "Bean" when he first came home from the hospital. That evolved into "Boone Dog", "The Dog", and just simply, "Dog".  Boone is not a fan of nicknames. Often after we use one of his he will say, "I not Da Dog, I just Boone." Hilarious.

Boone has called Lawson "Dawsie" from about month two. (He called her "baby" for the first two months.) Last week Boone called her Lawson for the first time ever. It took a long time for him to put the "L" on Lawson. He would repeat after us "La La La La, Dawsie". He has said "Lawson" twice since the momentous occasion last week, but I think he got too much attention for using it and has moved back to "Dawsie". "Dawsie" likely isn't going any…