Showing posts from August, 2015


July 23

I have been surrounded by dozens of lovely people since the start of July, but since the beginning of the month there has been a constant nag pulling at me. I just can't seem to shake its weighty pull. In fact, it has gotten to the point that I am reveling in the nag, even encouraging it to consume me.

Grief is a horrible beast that I will likely never truly understand.

It started on our first family vacation with Lawson. She completed our family and as we drove I realized that we were at a new beginning. Life is full of new beginnings and our van packed to the rim with our three little beings was just the most recent. I thought about Tripp at every turn. Where would he sit, where would he sleep, how would he travel, what would his excitement look like, would he like to swim, would he look more like Calder or Boone.

My "what ifs" have continued to haunt me since we returned from the coast. I know it is dumb. I know I need to stop. I am torturing myself. It's …

Broken Bone

On Sunday, July 26, Lawson and I were having a good little sleep in (past 7 am J) , so Hugh decided to take the boys to the park. They arrived home a little after 9 am. Hugh had a sullen look on his face as he carried Boone into the cabin. The first words out of his mouth were “I think this might be really bad”. 
He was right.
Boone was playing on the monkey bars and fell. Hugh thought he was hanging from them the exact same way he had been doing the last couple of weeks and just dropped to the ground (2 – 3 feet). Hugh didn’t see it happen and felt so bad. He was preoccupied with the 5 random kids that were climbing all over our golf cart at the moment of the accident!
By 11 am Boone was still refusing to walk, so we took him into the Tisdale Hospital. We were lucky to see a doctor and have x-rays quite quickly. There was a slight bump at the bottom of his shin, but very little swelling. The doctor couldn’t see a break, but told us they don’t always show up in little kids right away…

Lawson Update - Months 4 and 5

Lawson, aka "Dawsie" is best known for her cheeks. People can't seem to get over their size. And I get it. I mean look at those things. Don't you just want to squeeze them!
At almost exactly the 4 month mark our perfect sleeper fell off the wagon. She started getting up during the night - inconsolable - and sometimes multiple times a night. I was stressed. I was used to sleep and didn't want to go back to a place where it didn't exist. After a few nights of chaos . . . Sometimes I fed her, sometimes I tried to console her, but mostly just listening to her cry (that tired, "I can't get to sleep" cry), I messaged a sleep specialist. I had done some googling and read about a 4 month sleep regression. I guess it is a thing . . . In fact Boone likely had it as well - I just didn't google it! I knew we had a good thing going with Lawson. She was on a 4 hour schedule during the day and she had just stopped having fussy nights, so we were actually a…

Shark Teeth

Calder has had a loose tooth for almost 2 months. It was so resistant to come out that his permanent tooth starting coming up behind the baby one. It looked hilarious. My sister, Jes, started calling him “shark teeth”, since sharks have two rows of teeth.
In the end the tooth basically fell out randomly into his hand near the end of July. Calder’s exact description, “I put my fingers on it and pulled it the tiniest bit and it popped out!”
Calder didn’t want the Tooth Fairy to take his tooth. Sigh. So we told him to say it out loud when he put his tooth under his pillow and he was glad to see in the morning that the Tooth Fairy had delivered a toonie and left his tooth. I thought that Calder would be more excited about the Tooth Fairy coming. I had actually thought he might have a reaction closer to Easter or birthday excitement, but he was very calm and straight faced about the whole thing!
Calder doesn’t even have the gap toothed grin. His permanent tooth is basically as tall as th…