I should be reading chapter 2 of the book and moving on this week, but quite frankly, I don't have time. With school winding down there are projects to finish and parties to attend. I think it is actually fitting that I continue to work on organization this week. I have printed off a calendar for July and August that will fit in my happiness project book. This way, I will be able to keep track of all our our commitments and schedule any new ones in.
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Today was a bad day. It started just at noon. I was listening to the radio in my classroom and the news reported a boy who, while fishing off a dock, drown. I felt sick. No one should lose a child. I decided I needed to get out of the building for a few minutes, so I decided to tackle a few things off of my list. I took my broken driver back to Golf Town (it looks like they are going to be able to do something about it) and then headed to Walmart. It was baby central. Some days I notice more than others and some days it bothers me more than others. Today I noticed and today it bothered me. I headed back to school and when I had a few minutes of down time, I took a seat in the staff room and visited some coworkers. A teacher I work with came in with his wife and newborn daughter. I could barely look, let alone say congratulations. I bustled home after work and had to let Calder know that he was getting a babysitter tonight. He was sad. It made me sad. Calder wanted to be with Hugh and I, but we both had plans. Our babysitter asked about our baby. We hadn't seen her since Christmas. I told her what happened. Calder and I had a sad good-bye and I headed to Costco to pick up a few things. Once again, because it was one of those days, it was baby central. And, on top of that, I saw a teacher who has been, to be honest, quite mean to me in the past (I don't work with her, thank-goodness). She was pushing a cart with her 2.5 year old and she was pregnant. I got out of Costco at the blink of an eye. I had had enough. I started driving into the city. My mind was racing. I pulled over and called Hugh to see if he had a few moments before Grade 8 Farewell started. Thank-goodness he did. He was sympathetic. He is ALWAYS sympathetic. I need him always, but especially in those moments. I canceled my plans and headed home. I wasn't in a good place and didn't feel like putting on my happy face. I think I am going to spend a bit of time in my sanctuary tonight.