Happiness Project -- This morning I realized I needed another list. My "Get off my back" list is wonderful for those nagging tasks, but I needed a list for things that need to get done right away like booking Calder and Cleo hair cuts and mailing Father's Day cards. I now have two lists. My 2nd is called ASAP and it contains things that really can't wait. I LOVE a good list!
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At the end of the school day I was walking to my classroom and met a bunch of grade 9's. I had taught a few of the girls and gave them a smile as I passed. I stopped at my room and looked back at them only to see 2 or three of the girls turning their heads to look back at me. I stepped in to my room just as I heard one of them say,"oh, that is so sad." One of the girls obviously hadn't heard about Tripp. I felt my emotions overwhelm me. I tried to name the feeling, because it's easier to control my emotion when I know what it is. It wasn't that they were talking about me or Tripp. They were polite and respectful. It wasn't that they hadn't heard before today. What happened is gossip and although it can fly pretty fast at times, it isn't a reliable way to get information out. After a moment, I decided I would think about it more when I went to blog tonight. I had some students to help in the library and I needed to get going. A minute later, without even trying, a light went on. It upset me because it reminded me of what I had lost. Simple. A reminder. Those girls reminded me that it is "so sad" and it made me sad. I am used to seeing the reminders of pregnant women and babies. This was just the first time I have heard the reminder that way.
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Ten years ago today, my dear friend, Deena, lost her best friend, Kelly. I have been thinking about Deena all day (Deena wrote a beautiful post about Kelly HERE). I have also been thinking about Kelly's mom today. I knew Kelly a bit through ball, university and her fiance, but Hugh played ball with Kelly's older brother and knows the family well. We saw Kelly's mom in Costco about a month after Tripp died. I had been having a bad day. I had never met Kelly's mom before and after she introduced herself she made no hesitation. She leaned in and gave me a long, strong hug. She told me that parents shouldn't have to lose their children. I felt myself relax and melt into her arms. At that moment it felt so good to have someone who really knows what it feels like to acknowledge my pain. I wish I could give her one of those hugs today.