Cara

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Calder spend his first and only full "practice" day at his new daycare, as I am headed back to work on Monday.  He did amazing at M's house.  Calder used his manners, cleaned up toys, and even went to sleep well.  We are proud parents!
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I had lunch with a friend, Cara.  I have been looking forward to chatting with her for weeks.  Cara's dad passed away from cancer a few years ago and our worlds are intricately woven together.  Our parents are really good friends and Luke is a groomsmen in her brother's wedding this summer.  

Cara has lost big, just like me. She is a few years farther ahead of me on her journey and I love to hear her perspective.  Cara has questioned her beliefs, read books and developed her own sense of what the world is about.  I admire her willingness to share.  I am sure discussing my suffering brings up emotions from her own suffering, but it hasn't stopped her from connecting with me.  Cara is strong and determined to learn from her experiences. She presented some ideas to me today that I can't stop thinking about.  I now need to do some reading and then have another visit with Cara.

Before we started talking, Cara wanted me to know how much Tripp has affected her life.  She said that she didn't realize how much her dad was missed by people until a year or two after he passed away.  Her dad, Bob, is talked about frequently at our house.  If fishing or boats are brought up (which is quite often, since the boys are planning their annual fishing trip year round), then Bob will be mentioned.  Bob brought out the absolute best in my dad. I miss seeing Bob at the lake interacting with Dad. You could actually see my dad relax when Bob was around and Dad definitely laughed more in Bob's presence. But, how would Cara have known this?  Our family misses her dad, but she wouldn't have known that unless we told her.  Cara spoke to me with kindness and emotion when she told me how much Tripp has meant to her and how much she misses him. She wanted to make sure it didn't take a year or two for me to realize this. 

Fast foward to the afternoon.  I got my hair cut at my friend, Heidi's, house.  Interesting, with the same kindness and emotion, Heidi spoke about Tripp in the same way Cara did.  Their words spoke volumes and were undoubtedly the favorite parts of my day.  

A few days ago I stumbled upon a blog of a mother with triplets.  Her infant son, Owen, died earlier this week.  She found this poem and posted it. 

The mention of my child’s name
May bring tears to my eyes,
But it never fails to bring
Music to my ears.
If you are really my friend,
Let me hear the beautiful music of his name.
It soothes my broken heart
And sings to my soul.

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