4 Pounds 6 Ounces

Our family doctor moved at the end of June. We were extremely sad to see her leave.  She is an incredible doctor and equally as wonderful person. She was moving with her husband and daughter to be closer to their extended family.  I can appreciate that.

Yesterday, Hugh, Calder and I had our meet and greet with our new doctor at the clinic in Warman.  I readied myself to tell our story - Tripp's story - for the days leading up to our appointment. I cried when I told her, but only a little. I stuck to as many facts as I could remember. Somewhere in the midst of all the facts, the doctor asked us how big Tripp was when he was born.

I didn't know.

This is one of those things that a mom is supposed to know, but I understand the reasons that I don't. Tripp's weight was the least of our worries.  In fact, it wasn't even a worry.  We didn't monitor the initial weight loss that all babies have. In fact, I actually don't think Tripp ever lost weight.  They were pumping him full of too much medication for it to actually drop.

Regardless, the reality that I didn't know his actual weight was still bothering me today when Calder and I headed into the city for his follow-up appointment with the urologist from his surgery. My thoughts were with Tripp all morning.  I spent time relieving some of the moments of his life and many of the moments of our life after his death.

When we got home I felt an urgency to find out Tripp's weight. There were 2 places I knew I could find it. One was with my sister, Jes. She made a blanket for Tripp and embroidered his weight on it.  She is in the process of getting it quilted and has it in Regina.  Jes would know Tripp's weight, but Jes is working in Switzerland and I didn't want to delay finding the answer.  The 2nd place I knew it would be is in a bag in Calder's big boy room where we have put anything at all remotely do with Tripp.  I knew the nurses would have put something in the box they gave us; the box I haven't been ready to open - until today.

My emotions ran high as I opened the box. Thankfully, I found Tripp's weight right on top.  I was relieved.  I would have sifted through its contents if I had to, but I am thankful I didn't.

1995 grams. 4 pounds 6 ounces.

Hugh and I had guessed at the doctor's office that he had weighed 4 and a half pounds.  We were close, but 4 pounds 6 ounces sounds better.


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