I am sitting here pondering how different my life is now.  Thinking about this used to make me cry.  I must be getting more used to the idea of a different life, because today it just makes me really sad.  My picture of having 3 kids, each two years apart is becoming less crisp.  Pretty soon that picture will be faded enough that I can think about replacing it with a new one.

There are times when Hugh and I discuss "what now" in terms of how our future will look.  It is scary to think about in a lot of ways, but mainly because we know that we are not entirely in control of what happens in our lives.  These conversations about the future always end in, "lets just wait and see."  We are rolling with it for now.  This used to make me feel incredibly uneasy, but it feels like the best thing to do in this moment.

* * *
I still have Tripp's ultrasound pictures on the fridge.  I have thought about taking them down and putting them with all his other stuff a number of times.  I don't want them to get wrecked on the fridge, but I am just not ready to put them away.  He was completely perfect in those pictures.  

I also haven't looked at the photos I printed or checked out the box that NICU sent us.  I feel like I am sad enough.  I don't need any extra help with that.

* * *

Today, I am going to vote.  I believe it important to exercise this right.  I am still not sure who to vote for.  I don't find politics very interesting and just haven't taken the time to do any serious reading about it.  Last night Hugh and I spent an hour on the computer looking up information on each of the political parties' platforms.  I even tried to watch a bit of the debate on youtube.  The problem with the debate was that I didn't know who to believe.  At least one of them had to be lying, because they were saying exact opposite things. . . but which candidate was it?

I am frustrated that there are 4 parties on the left wing and only one on the right.  It seems so silly to me to have all of these parties.  But what do I know about politics? 

I have to go down with Luke to vote when he is done work today.  He doesn't have any bills since he lives with us.  He has a company truck and cell, therefore he doesn't get correspondence from either of those and his license still says he lives in Tisdale.  For the government this means that there is no proof that he lives in Martensville, so he will be swearing an oath and I will be vouching for him!

I hope everyone exercises their right to vote today, even if they just go down to spoil their ballot!


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