Women Like Me

I think a lot about other women like me. Women who have lost babies. I also think a lot about women who have had trouble conceiving. Maybe because I can relate to their feelings of loss and the change of their plans?

Today we went to the zoo. It was filled with young moms (like me) and their young children. When I looked at them I still felt a stab of pain. That, "it's not fair"and "why me?" kind of pain. The pain doesn't bring me to tears as much anymore and because of that I could recognize that those women might have a story that I don't know about. My grief is at a place where I am starting to see outside myself. Just because they have a family that has multiple children and babies doesn't mean I was seeing their whole picture.

I also had envious feelings at the zoo today. The "you don't know how lucky you are" kind. Today I was in a place sane enough to think about how fortunate those families are to NOT to know how lucky they are. I was able to think back to the time when I didn't know how lucky I was. I mean we all know we are lucky, but until you lose big, you can never truly know how lucky. I was in a place today to not only feel envious of those families but also happy for them that they might not know.

We had a great time at the zoo. But even my great times are filled full of Tripp.

(Photos taken with Hugh's iPhone - not too shabby!)


  1. wait- Hugh has an iphone?? Please tell me you got one?

  2. That is an interesting thought. I often thing of how everyone has a story.. but I don't often relate that to happy young families. How wrong that is. My 'happy young family' has a story - and so does yours.

  3. Deena - Hugh got an iPhone in the fall and no I didn't get one. I don't even know where my run-of-the mill phone is right now! I don't want the pressure of keeping track of an expensive one!

    Karen - I am with you in that I often wonder about other people's stories. I have been thinking about your story lots these days. I hope you are well.

  4. OK... when did we get an elephant?!? How excited was Calder to see a big Ella?


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