Before Tripp, my blog for the most part is filled with anecdotes from our daily life. I usually try to write about the funny or memorable things that have happened in my life. Most times those posts include Calder. He is the center of our world. And often times, I make fun of Hugh!
With that being said, I haven't really written about my relationship with Calder before. Some people may say he's a Daddy's boy. He is, but for me it goes beyond that. I don't know a word to define it, so I will give you some examples.
Starting in the fall, when I would go to get Calder out of bed in the morning or after a nap he would crawl to the farthest reaches of the crib, start frantically crying and saying "no, no, no, daddy". He wouldn't let me pick him up. (This has gotten much better the last couple of months. Now he just occasionally cries for Daddy when I go in!) Most days, Calder will refuse to kiss or hug me in the morning or at bedtime. Often, he even refuses to say "good morning" to me. If he gets hurt and I try to console him, he will put his feet into my belly, push me away, and run across our house bawling to find Daddy. Lots of times Calder will refuse to play with me. He would rather cry at Daddy's leg in the kitchen for him to come and play than play with me while I am sitting in the middle of a pile of trucks.
Calder isn't unique in this. Lots of boys are Daddy's boys, but I do think the extremeness of his "daddy's boy" mentality is rare.
I have shed many tears over this. Don't get me wrong. I KNOW Calder loves me. He isn't intentionally hurting my feelings. It's just sometimes it would be nice to kiss a boo boo or not get denied a good night kiss.
The only time I get to kiss a boo boo or be the number one playmate is when Daddy is away. As soon as Hugh comes home, Daddy's boy is back!
The reason I am posting this now is because of the change we have seen in Calder since we returned from the hospital.
Since I have been home I have asked for more kisses than I have ever asked for before. Calder has maybe denied me once. Calder looks for me when Hugh gets him up from his naps. He even comes over on his own to give me hugs and kisses. He sits on my lap when Hugh is in the room. Calder came and cuddled with me today before I had my nap and I heard him (even with ear plugs in) come to the door twice, call for me and try to open the door.
While I was pregnant people always asked if Calder understood what it meant to be pregnant. We told him that there was a baby in Mommy's belly. He would point to it and say "baby". He would kiss the baby good morning with Hugh. He knew he was moving out of his room (which is currently the nursery) into the big boy room and that the baby would sleep in the nursery. But, did he know what having a baby meant? I have no idea.
Yesterday morning after Hugh pulled Calder out of his bed for a little snuggle time with us in ours, Calder pointed to my breast and said "baby". I said "no, that is mommy's boob". (LOL. I can't believe I wrote that, but it was seriously funny). He then pointed to my belly and said "baby".
Hugh and I had knew this moment was going to come and knew what we were going to say when it did. Calder needs an answer. We have been telling him that there is a baby in my belly for months. Kerri (his 2nd mom) currently has a baby in her belly. We can't say "no" to that question. There can be babies in bellies.
So, I said, "no, the baby is in heaven". He then turned, pointed to my knee and said "knee".
Does Calder understand? I don't think entirely, but he understands something and probably more than we can even imagine.
Oh, and so you know, Calder may be a Daddy's boy, but Tripp was a Momma's boy :-)