Calder speaks about death

Conversation with Calder last night:

C: Do you know people die sometimes?
J: Yes I did know that.
C: Sometimes people die with their eyes open and some people die with them closed.
J: I picture Tripp's last breaths. How did you know people die?
C: I just knew.
J: Do you know anybody who's died?
C: Uhhhh. . . . yah. . . monsters.
J: Your brother, Tripp, died.
C: Why?
J: I don't know honey.
C: Wrinkled brow and sad voice. Why?
J: I just don't know. Tripp is in heaven now.
C: I don't like heaven.
J: Heaven is a wonderful place. Tripp is in a really wonderful place.
C: I don't like it.

We talk about Tripp with Calder. Not very much, though. He still doesn't fully understand. And other than saying, "You have a brother, Tripp" there isn't much else to say.

I look forward to the day he fully understands. I am ready to see Calder upset that Tripp isn't here. I am ready for him to draw a picture of our family and put an angel in.

All things in time.

I added the book We Were Gonna Have A Baby, But We Had An Angel Instead by Pat Schweibert in my cart. It got great reviews on Amazon. I am going to order it as soon as I have enough for free shipping ($25 worth). This book will give us one more opportunites to talk about Tripp.

Enjoy your May Long Weekend. I plan on playing photographer this weekend, so hopefully I have some good shots for you on Tuesday.

Drive safely.


  1. I think it is likely that Calder understands a great deal more then you realize. He just doesn't have the vocabulary and expressive capability to convey what he "knows".

    That sounds like a good book.


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