Skip to main content

Hamilton Family Christmas

Friday marked the last day of work for Hugh and I. We both took today and tomorrow off to extend our Christmas break a bit. On Friday Hugh was excited as we drove to work. He couldn't wait to spend more time together. Hugh and I have started to really enjoy our family Saturdays and he spoke about how we were going to have 2 weeks of Saturdays. I should have been elated. I really love our family time.  But, instead I was nervous. In fact, I barely slept at the end of last week. I have been dreading Christmas. The last day of work marked the fact that Christmas was here.

We spent Friday evening and Saturday at Hugh's brother, Billy's house. He and his wife, Abbey, hosted the Hamilton family Christmas this year. We had some good food and laughs on Friday night.  We headed home early to get a good rest for Saturday's festivities.  Hugh and I talked on the short drive about how there were reminders to us that Tripp wasn't there. For Hugh it was reminiscing with his parents and Billy about things they did growing up. It reminded him that Calder will miss out on all that. For me it was seeing Pace toddle around. I wondered what it would have been like with one more pair of feet traipsing around. Hugh has reminisced with his family other times, and I have certainly seen Pace lots without getting those feelings. I just think because Christmas is so much about family that Tripp's absence was more apparent to us.

I woke up Friday night at midnight, 2 am, 4 am, and finally for the day at 6 am. I kept having nightmares. Some about Tripp, some about dying, and others about things that when you become rational in the morning don't seem scary at all.

I was nervous to head over to Billy and Abbeys. In fact, I had a good cry in the morning before we left. Christmas was here and I didn't know how I was feeling. 

One of the first things I noticed when I stepped into Billy and Abbey's house was that Abbey had candles lit. Not all of them, but some. Abbey has a "Tripp" candle and it was lit. I know it wasn't just random luck that it's tiny flame was flickering.
Tripp's candle is the blue bird on the shelf above Hugh.
After we opened gifts and had breakfast, I spent a better part of the day on the couch nursing a headache. Just before supper Hugh massaged my neck and shoulders and it finally started to ease. I knew right from the start it was a tension headache. It wasn't until I got home that I realized I had brought it on myself with all my stress and worry. I don't think I could have prevented the headache, but if I get another one during this break, I will have a better idea of the quickest way to get rid of it.


 As the day unfolded I began to get nervous about what would be said at grace before our meal. As we sat at the table I began to get tears in my eyes. For us, grace is about giving thanks - and I have a lot to be thankful for - it's just been the worst year of my life and it is hard for me to be thankful for that. I was absolutely relieved when Billy announced, "get at'er". No grace. A wave of relief rushed over me.

I took about 20 shots without realizing Maddy had a mouth full of food! I was too busy trying to get Pace and Calder to look!
I spent the better part of Saturday reminding myself to choose happiness. I didn't have to remind myself on Sunday. On Sunday we spent some time in the morning with Hugh's parents and then some time in the afternoon with Billy, Abbey, and the kids, both of which were my favourite parts of the weekend. The Christmas anticipation was over and I could just relax and enjoy everyone's company.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

What I'm wearing

After my Simons' flop, I recently picked up three pairs of jegging capris at Costco. I think they were about $16 each. I got them in grey (above), teal (also above), and white. I absolutely love them and have been wearing them like crazy. My favorite of the two outfits is the bottom one. The jean jacket is Mavi and I HIGHLY recommend it. In fact, I recently bought another. Exact same style, different wash. This jacket was recommended by both Deena and Christy, so you really can't go wrong. The scarf is one I picked up this spring (Gap). I heart orange and teal. Last week I mentioned trying to define my signature look and that bottom one pretty much encapsulates it. . .
And here it is again. LOVE this one too. Cardigan and scarf are recent purchases along with the grey tee (Old Navy). Jeans are old (American Eagle) and shoes are old (Nine West). I can't wait to recreate this one!
These. Jeans. (Gap). I can't get enough of them. I wore them to professional development o…

Nicknames

All of Hugh's hockey buddies call him "Hammy".

Hugh has been calling Calder "Ham" for a long time. I can't even remember when it started.

Calder started calling Boone "Bean" when he first came home from the hospital. That evolved into "Boone Dog", "The Dog", and just simply, "Dog".  Boone is not a fan of nicknames. Often after we use one of his he will say, "I not Da Dog, I just Boone." Hilarious.

Boone has called Lawson "Dawsie" from about month two. (He called her "baby" for the first two months.) Last week Boone called her Lawson for the first time ever. It took a long time for him to put the "L" on Lawson. He would repeat after us "La La La La, Dawsie". He has said "Lawson" twice since the momentous occasion last week, but I think he got too much attention for using it and has moved back to "Dawsie". "Dawsie" likely isn't going any…

Calder Update

Has Calder ever gotten into sports the last couple of months!?! Below he is at a Rush lacrosse game with Hugh and his buddy Kohen. Calder has been watching baseball, lacrosse, and now the hockey playoffs like crazy. In fact, he has stopped asking to watch any of his "shows". He just wants to watch sports. Oh. . . and add NASCAR to that list. Our boy loves his cars. I don't think that will ever change!

Here is Calder's funniest shark tooth yet. His permanent tooth pushed through in front of his baby tooth!  It was like this for weeks. No gap toothed grin for this boy! Below is the day it fell out!
Calder is doing so well in school. His teacher speaks of what a great student he is. Hearing her say these things actually makes me wish he used a few more manners and a bit more kindness at home! LOL. But, if he is going to be on his best behavior somewhere, I want it to be when we aren't around. Although it was great to hear about Calder's learning successes at pa…