A Grandma's Wisdom
I should have posted this on Wednesday, but I was feeling too sad to write. I am still sad, but it fits right in with how I am feeling.
I had a heart-to-heart with my Grandma Jenny on the weekend that included some tears. I asked her if she got cancer if she would get treatment. You see lately I have been thinking about what it will be like when I am on my deathbed. I keep thinking how happy I will be. I will be on my way to Tripp. On my deathbed I am old. I have gave my life all I have and I am ready to leave. I'm not sad my journey is ending, I am just so happy to get to finally get to stare into Tripp's eyes for hours on end, rock him to sleep, and listen to him breathe.
When I asked my Grandma the question she thought about it and said that as long as she wouldn't be on life support she would fight it. My grandma is 84. As we sat there and thought I tried to put myself in her shoes, but I didn't find myself coming to the same conclusion as her. It made me think. My Grandma has the love of her life, my Grandpa, waiting for her in heaven, she has her parents and many friends. She also has a sister she never met (her mom lost a infant daughter).
Then she said, "I don't think you are ever ready to die." She paused. "Well, I guess maybe you can be ready." She reminisced about her mom's battle with cancer. Grandma remembers her mom getting up in the morning and being sad because she hadn't died the night before. It made me think more.
My Grandma remembers her mom wondering out loud occasionally what it would have been like if Little Mary were here. I wish I could talk to my Great-Grandma. How much we share. Grandma's have a wisdom and I wish I could hear her perspective. Interestingly enough, as I write this I think about my great-granddaughter losing a child. Even if I am gone. This blog will be here for her.
Grandma told me that the best thing she has found to help her deal with her grief since Grandpa died is doing things to help others. She said, "you don't have to look far to see someone worse off than yourself." Isn't that the truth. Grandma spends hours knitting toques for the homeless, quilting blankets for those in needs, and sewing slippers for the women's shelter.
Grandma reminded me that I have to get up everyday and do everyday things. That advise has popped up in my head multiple times a day this week. Just get up and do everyday things.
I had a heart-to-heart with my Grandma Jenny on the weekend that included some tears. I asked her if she got cancer if she would get treatment. You see lately I have been thinking about what it will be like when I am on my deathbed. I keep thinking how happy I will be. I will be on my way to Tripp. On my deathbed I am old. I have gave my life all I have and I am ready to leave. I'm not sad my journey is ending, I am just so happy to get to finally get to stare into Tripp's eyes for hours on end, rock him to sleep, and listen to him breathe.
When I asked my Grandma the question she thought about it and said that as long as she wouldn't be on life support she would fight it. My grandma is 84. As we sat there and thought I tried to put myself in her shoes, but I didn't find myself coming to the same conclusion as her. It made me think. My Grandma has the love of her life, my Grandpa, waiting for her in heaven, she has her parents and many friends. She also has a sister she never met (her mom lost a infant daughter).
Then she said, "I don't think you are ever ready to die." She paused. "Well, I guess maybe you can be ready." She reminisced about her mom's battle with cancer. Grandma remembers her mom getting up in the morning and being sad because she hadn't died the night before. It made me think more.
My Grandma remembers her mom wondering out loud occasionally what it would have been like if Little Mary were here. I wish I could talk to my Great-Grandma. How much we share. Grandma's have a wisdom and I wish I could hear her perspective. Interestingly enough, as I write this I think about my great-granddaughter losing a child. Even if I am gone. This blog will be here for her.
Grandma told me that the best thing she has found to help her deal with her grief since Grandpa died is doing things to help others. She said, "you don't have to look far to see someone worse off than yourself." Isn't that the truth. Grandma spends hours knitting toques for the homeless, quilting blankets for those in needs, and sewing slippers for the women's shelter.
Grandma reminded me that I have to get up everyday and do everyday things. That advise has popped up in my head multiple times a day this week. Just get up and do everyday things.
Your Grandma is a wise women. I LOVE this post Jordan:)
ReplyDeletewhat a wonderfully insightful blog jordan!
ReplyDeleteFew of us our age have had to live through tragedy the way that you have, but even fewer are touched by amazing people like Grandma Jenny. Thank you for sharing a piece of her with us. She is really one of those amazing people that once you know her well enough to say "hello", you feel almost a piece of ownership of her awesomeness.
ReplyDeleteAlso, since becoming a parent, I have attemped, and failed to come close to her halloween popcorn ball perfection. Maybe I will perfect it over the next 53 years, or maybe I will just have to stop in for a tutorial next year. I know which she would like best!
Ader
Thanks Kelly and Marlene. My Grandma is an amazing woman.
ReplyDeleteAder, you obviously know Grandma well because you described her perfectly. She is awesome. She would absolute LOVE for you to pop in for a tutorial. And if you don't have time to stop, call her! She has given me many cooking tips over the phone!