Skip to main content

Auntie Jordan and Pace

Today was my niece Madison's 8th birthday. Her mom, Abbey, Hugh's brother Billy and our nephew Pace came over for supper and cake.

It was a big day for Maddy and a big night for me. A milestone night for me.

Pace is just shy of 11 months. He is crawling like a champ, has started taking his first steps, but I haven't held him since Tripp died. A couple of months ago I emailed Abbey. I was starting to feel little urges to hold Pace, but was afraid people were going to make a big deal out of it. She assured me she wouldn't do a cheer, nor would she cry. We agreed we would probably do both those things but we would wait until well after the moment to do them. We didn't want my fear of a reaction preventing me from doing what felt right.

I made a giant stride at Thanksgiving. I sat on the floor with Pace between my legs and we played football with Calder. On the way home Hugh told me he was proud of me. I cried. I was proud of me too.

Thanksgiving I got close to the finish line but tonight I crossed it. Today I held Pace for the first time in 8 months. He was crawling on the floor after supper and I just happened to look down and I noticed he had puked and was about to drag his leg through it. I hesitated, just for a moment, before I scooped down, picked him up and waltzed him to the sink so I could give him a clean-up.

The moment came and it went. Nobody said anything. It was like it wasn't a big deal. Except it was. As I type this I am shedding those tears Abbey and I agreed would come. I missed being the auntie I wanted to be with Pace.

It was a big day for me.

Comments

  1. Good job Jordan! You know, when I am struggling with something and wondering whether there is a God, it seems that he always gives me a sign. Maybe this was yours. You have been thinking about wanting to pick him up. However thinking and doing are two different things. Yet, as you say, when you saw that he had puked and was about to go through it, you made the instinctive decision to pick him up. Maybe that was a sign, where the actual act of picking him up was based on instinct more than "it's time". No matter what the reason, ultimately you moved forward and that was a huge, successful step. Congrats!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Good job Jordan...I know you are a great Auntie to Madison and with time you will be a great Auntie to Pace. You should be very proud of yourself..

    ReplyDelete
  3. Good job Jordan:) I am sure Pace loved the attention from his Auntie, and I gaurantee Tripp was smiling too.
    Theresa (I know I am obsessed) told a women last week that when she holds another baby, she is also holding her baby at the same time. I don't know exactly what she meant but I think she is right. I guess it has something to do with the Universal love that binds all spirit and people. When you show love to Pace, you show love to Tripp too:)

    ReplyDelete
  4. So proud of you! Shed a tear myself.

    ader

    ps. wow he looks like billy!!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Congratulations Jordan! Ain't love grand?

    ReplyDelete
  6. Soo happy for you Jordan!
    He is a cutie :)
    Auntie Pat

    ReplyDelete
  7. I am so happy for you Jordan! There are going to be a lot of "first" things to hurdle. I am very proud. Congratulations on have such an adorable nephew.

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

What I'm wearing

After my Simons' flop, I recently picked up three pairs of jegging capris at Costco. I think they were about $16 each. I got them in grey (above), teal (also above), and white. I absolutely love them and have been wearing them like crazy. My favorite of the two outfits is the bottom one. The jean jacket is Mavi and I HIGHLY recommend it. In fact, I recently bought another. Exact same style, different wash. This jacket was recommended by both Deena and Christy, so you really can't go wrong. The scarf is one I picked up this spring (Gap). I heart orange and teal. Last week I mentioned trying to define my signature look and that bottom one pretty much encapsulates it. . .
And here it is again. LOVE this one too. Cardigan and scarf are recent purchases along with the grey tee (Old Navy). Jeans are old (American Eagle) and shoes are old (Nine West). I can't wait to recreate this one!
These. Jeans. (Gap). I can't get enough of them. I wore them to professional development o…

Nicknames

All of Hugh's hockey buddies call him "Hammy".

Hugh has been calling Calder "Ham" for a long time. I can't even remember when it started.

Calder started calling Boone "Bean" when he first came home from the hospital. That evolved into "Boone Dog", "The Dog", and just simply, "Dog".  Boone is not a fan of nicknames. Often after we use one of his he will say, "I not Da Dog, I just Boone." Hilarious.

Boone has called Lawson "Dawsie" from about month two. (He called her "baby" for the first two months.) Last week Boone called her Lawson for the first time ever. It took a long time for him to put the "L" on Lawson. He would repeat after us "La La La La, Dawsie". He has said "Lawson" twice since the momentous occasion last week, but I think he got too much attention for using it and has moved back to "Dawsie". "Dawsie" likely isn't going any…

Calder Update

Has Calder ever gotten into sports the last couple of months!?! Below he is at a Rush lacrosse game with Hugh and his buddy Kohen. Calder has been watching baseball, lacrosse, and now the hockey playoffs like crazy. In fact, he has stopped asking to watch any of his "shows". He just wants to watch sports. Oh. . . and add NASCAR to that list. Our boy loves his cars. I don't think that will ever change!

Here is Calder's funniest shark tooth yet. His permanent tooth pushed through in front of his baby tooth!  It was like this for weeks. No gap toothed grin for this boy! Below is the day it fell out!
Calder is doing so well in school. His teacher speaks of what a great student he is. Hearing her say these things actually makes me wish he used a few more manners and a bit more kindness at home! LOL. But, if he is going to be on his best behavior somewhere, I want it to be when we aren't around. Although it was great to hear about Calder's learning successes at pa…