Missing Tripp, but living in the moment

As the months get further away from Tripp, I find myself more comfortable around babies his age. Time is the obvious factor. Time for me to grow more comfortable with my grief and time for babies to grow. Tripp will forever be newborn and the more time that passes, the further kids his age are away from being newborn.

When I see babies at the grocery store sitting up by themselves or others crawling around at the library, I think of Tripp. It does hurts, but I can honestly say that the pang of grief is far worse when I see newborns.

Being around my nephew, Pace, the last few weeks has been significant in my healing and on Saturday I looked after him and niece, Maddy on my own (Hugh was at hockey). Pace will always remind me of Tripp, but that pang of deep sadness has gotten less stabbing in the almost 9 months since Tripp passed away. On Saturday I relished the opportunity to get to know my nephew. We played, we danced, we cuddled. There were moments I truly ached for Tripp, but there were also moments where we having so much fun, I didn't even think about Tripp being missing.

In fact, it wasn't until I was editing these photos that I felt grief over my baby not being present. All 3 cousins. . . but it should be 4. These pictures captured a moment of fun and laughter in our evening and although I am behind the lens, they also captured me living in the moment.