From High to Low

Saturday I was motivated by my friend, Deena (who got me thinking - you will see later this month in her 2nd addition of the Mommy Diaries) and by my sister-in-law Abbey (who just moved into a beautiful house in Martensville). I decided to get some serious cleaning/organizing done!

I started with the pantry. My friend, Danielle, has a pantry from a magazine.  All of her pasta and cereal are in neatly stack organized containers (mine are in bags spilling off the shelves). She even has dishes stacked up in decreasing size. My pantry could possibly cause us to be sued. There are no guarantees that when you open the door something won't fall down on your head and if you take the risk of stepping in, there is nothing stopping you from rolling an ankle. Enough was enough on Saturday. I didn't get containers to organize my pasta, but I did move everything back from the edge and put it in it's proper place. As well, I vacuumed up the half a bag of puffed wheat that had been spilled on the floor (and it had probably been there for at least a couple of months).

Stop number two was the basement. Remember at Easter when Hugh needed projects?  He built an office in the basement. Well, it has been set up for too long to even mention, but not surprisingly (after you just read about the puffed wheat) it was still piled high with clutter. I tackled it. I got everything put away into it's proper place, threw a bunch of stuff out, and with Hugh's help moved some stuff from the utility room to the office. In the process, Hugh ended up totally organizing the utility room! Having found his groove, Hugh moved upstairs to the hall closet and together we got it straightened out.

Needless to say, I had a great Saturday. It felt so good to accomplish some things I had been neglecting at home. On to Sunday. . .

We had company (my brother Luke and Brittany) for coffee and lunch. Hugh and Calder headed outside in the early afternoon to tackle the snow filled driveway while I got ready and organized us for our trip to Tisdale. Hugh had a hockey game, so Calder and I were heading to see Grandma and Grandpa Fritshaw and watch a bit of Hugh's favorite pastime. We didn't get home until 11 pm, but it was worth it. Another great day. And then came Monday. . .

I woke up sad. It didn't feel like my normal sad trigger (Tripp) was the cause. I couldn't nail down why I was feeling so glum, so I spent all day trying to convince myself I was having a good day. I tried pumping myself up that I had a test to create (something I love doing). That didn't work. Since Saturday's organizing was so motivating, I tried pumping myself up that I could go home and organize our bedroom closet. That didn't work. I then tried pumping myself up for an evening out with some friends. That didn't work. By the time I got home I was so exhausted from trying to be happy, that I headed to my sanctuary to rest and cry. The only bright light was Calder coming in and offering Ella (his favorite stuffed toy) and snuggling in to watch Disney's Cars on my iPad.

In fact, I felt so bad that I bailed on my night out with the girls. In truth, I was a bit apprehensive to see the girls. A number of them are pregnant or have babies. I was worried the talk would naturally lead to the excitement in their lives. Last week I had an encounter that reminded me I still have a hard time hearing about pregnancy and babies. On top of that, I began to worry that I would be a downer to the evening. The girls are excited about what is happening in their lives (and rightfully so). What if they felt like they couldn't talk about it because I was there? A bit of a double edged sword. . . I don't do well talking about babies, but I feel bad that people won't talk about them in front of me. Sigh.


Tuesday I woke up feeling much the same as Monday. The difference Tuesday was I didn't try to make myself happy. I just focused on getting through the day. I even looked at the calendar to see if it was getting close to the 18th. It's not. I don't know what it is.

Here's hoping today is a better day.

Comments

  1. We will hit you up on our next date. You missed a great night and I really think you need to give yourself more credit. You're stronger than you think and we love you regardless. And you know what? We didn't even talk about babies....instead we talked about our husbands. So much entertainement :) Love you.

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