9 months

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Wednesday, 7:21 pm

Today it is 9 months since Tripp died. I used to dread this day and the preceding week with all my might. Now, I certainly don't look forward to the anniversary, but it doesn't consume me like it did before. A number of times the last month I have had to count in my head to see how many months its been. This is the first month I have had to do that. I used to just know.

I didn't even realize it was the 23rd until a 5th period student asked me the date. I had to look at the calendar to figure it out and then I repeated it to him twice. Once for him. Once for me. I thought about telling that group it was the 9 month anniversary, but it didn't feel quite right.

I thought about Tripp a lot on Friday (the 18th) and I thought about what it would be like for me this week. But at that time I didn't dwell on it, nor did I bother to count forward the 5 days to see what day of the week the 23rd would fall on. 

I am sad tonight. But not sad enough to find refuge in my sanctuary. Just sad enough to light a candle, curl up on the couch with some comfort food and let the television help my brain turn off.

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