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Big Small Gestures

The last couple of days I have been thinking about a number of small gestures. And by small, I mean things that people have done that take minimal time and zero money. These gestures take thought and consideration.  The impact they have had on me is BIG. . .

A friend of a friend sent me a chain with a charm on when Tripp died. I wear it all the time along with some charms that my friend, Deena bought me. I was at a wedding a couple of weeks ago and she was wearing a matching chain and charm. I couldn't stop looking at it. She thinks about me. She thinks about Tripp.

On Friday a staff member started talking to me about the Calder's new methods of starting fires. He reads my blog. I knew he wife did, but until that moment didn't know he was following. I am aware people read my blog, but it still surprises and fills me up with happiness. If people are reading, they are thinking of Tripp.

While at the lake this summer a friend and neighbor, Jer stopped by with his son who is Calder's age. Our cabin was bustling with activity and I hoped I wouldn't have to talk to him. Jer and his wife had a daughter right around the time Tripp was born. That day I wasn't in a place to say congratulations, nor was I in a place to hear baby talk. I was nervous. My stomach was in knots. Their daughter is a gift and I didn't want any of the negative envy vibes I was feeling in that moment to translate to him. Jer being the social guy he is, came over and began chatting. Twice during our conversation there were moments that he should have brought up his daughter, but he didn't mention her. It would have been hard for him not to be the proud father, because he is a proud father (and as he should be). In the same breath, I was so thankful in that moment that he thought of me. About a month later at a wedding Jer's wife stopped by our table to chat. We did the usual mom talk, but she kept the conversation around their son, barely mentioning their daughter (and we chatted for at least 20 minutes). Again, I was thankful. Weddings are hard and she was being considerate of me. What an incredible couple.

This weekend at a memorial golf tournament I saw a friend from high school, Robbie. He made an effort to come and sit down beside me. I was excited to see him and started babbling as he pulled up his chair. He stopped me and told me that before we got chatting he wanted to say he was so sorry about what happened to us. I teared up. It has almost been 7 months since we lost Tripp and yet it still feels so good to hear people offer us their condolences. It doesn't feel like 7 months for me.

I could easily go on. There are so many things people do that connect with me. I am going to try and make one small gesture for someone else this week. Maybe it will be BIG for them. Pay it forward.


  1. I have been keeping your post about random acts of kindness in my mind. Last night while grocery shopping, an elderly man in front of me at the check-out only wanted to buy toilet paper. His cards kept denying him, so I told the clerk to add the toilet paper to my order.

    Even though you and I have never met, when I did this random act of kindness, I did so while thinking of Tripp.

    Tripp will never be forgotten.

  2. Yes, I do think about you and Trip and your family. I wore it so you would know I do think about you almost daily. I second guessed myself after I sent it to you...thinking perhaps it was presumptuous when we were not well acquainted. I didn't know what to say at the time and still am in awe of your courageous effort to continue to live and honor Trip's life with your committment to good acts and thoughts. I am glad I didn't censor myself and not send the charm. I am glad you wear it and understood my action. I have learned many things from you Jordan. Your grace and dignity is amazing. Leslie


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