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7 Months

Monday morning I got to school and looked at my calender to see what I needed to get ready for the day. After a few moments I glanced to the date. Monday, September 19. September 19. September 19.

I missed September 18th, Tripp's 7 month birthday. What happened? I couldn't believe it. I even questioned if his birthday really was the 18th. It would have made more sense to have mixed up the date than to have missed it entirely. I started crying and emailed Hugh. As I sat there I tried to figure out how I could have missed it. I think about Tripp ALL THE TIME. How did I miss this date?

Normally in the week(s) before the 18th to 23rd I spend a substantial amount of time dreading the impending anniversary of Tripp's birth and death. Last week I didn't even think of it. Frankly, I am barely staying one day ahead of my students. Maybe I was just too busy to think about it? I know it is good that I didn't spend time last week worrying about the 18th or the 23rd, but it makes me sad that I didn't. I am not sad I am moving farther away from the most painful moments of my life, just sad it is further away from my moments with Tripp.

Hugh called me immediately. He reminded me that not only did I think about Tripp ALOT yesterday, I actually had a bit of a sad day. It made me feel better. September 18th was a day like any other. September 18th I thought about Tripp and I missed Tripp.

Comments

  1. Hi Jordan,
    EVERY day is a day to celebrate Tripp's birthday and you do this by always remembering him each day! Don't be hard on yourself. Take care.
    Shelley

    ReplyDelete
  2. Hi Jordan,
    I hope you don't stress too much about the 7 month mark.Do you remember Calder's 7 month birthday? Everything about Tripp is special, but don't forget that your while you are a super mom, you don't have to be SUPERMOM the superhero - you will forget things for Tripp the same as you will forget things for Calder. And you will still love them the same.
    Example - Aaron forgot to be home when Noelle got off the bus yesterday, and she had to go home with the Bus driver. (you can imagine the fireworks when I got home!)
    It was great seeing you.
    Love you lots - Ader

    ReplyDelete
  3. Jordan,
    Tripp is on your mind everyday and will be with you always. Don't beat yourself up about forgetting about the 7 month anniversary. I was beating myself up today because yesterday was the 2 month anniversary for Jaren, and it didn't hit me until today. I have been keeping myself so busy that it flew by me. Yet a song that Amelia sings from this summer is enough to just set me off with tears. I agree with Alder. You will forget things for each of your kids, it's normal. It doesn't mean you're a bad mother or you love them any less because of it. Remember that Tripp was with you guys for a short time but the amount of people he affected is amazing. Some of us are lucky if we affect that many people in our lifetime.

    ReplyDelete

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