Skip to main content

Thursday

Wednesday I had a day filled with ups and downs. It was exhausting. All day I tried to figure out what I was going to write. I couldn't come up with one thing that felt inspired.

This lead me to think about not writing. . .

When I first started blogging it was to keep a family record of some of the events in our lives. It was a good way to share stories and pictures with family and friends. Then we had Tripp and my blog became part of my therapy. In a lot of ways my blog became about Tripp. This is a place where he is talked about and remembered. He lives here.

The day I stopped blogging on a daily basis was an emotional day for me. It felt in a lot of ways like letting part of Tripp go. He was wound so tightly through my blog that losing a day of writing felt like losing a piece of him. But I had to live my life and it was beginning to feel like I was writing to write, rather than writing to keep family records or writing for therapy.

Last night those same thoughts ran through my head. I questioned if not posting was the best thing to do. I didn't want to write, but part of me still felt obligated to do so. Ultimately, I concluded that my writing was never meant to feel like an obligation. With that I knew I needed to take a night off.

When I write, "take a night off," it seems like it should have been no big deal. We all need and deserve breaks from things in our lives - our jobs, our kids, our spouses, our homes.  Girl's night out, a date night with your spouse, a vacation away from home and a vacation at home are all things that help us rejuvenate ourselves. Deena and I talked about this on our trip - having a break from our everyday obligations makes us appreciate them more and gives us motivation to be "super" mom, teacher, wife, house cleaner, or even "super blogger" I guess.

Even though not writing was the right decision, it didn't feel like it was. I felt guilty as I read my book on the couch while Hugh watched hockey. I felt guilty when I washed my face and crawled into bed. I felt guilty in the shower Thursday morning and even contemplated if I had ten minutes to spare to do a quick post. I felt guilty all day at school and didn't even let myself visit my blog, because I couldn't be sure I wouldn't just post some random apology for not writing.

I think what it comes down to is that I am afraid that if I stop writing everyday, people will stop coming here. I know when people are coming here they are thinking about Tripp and I just don't want him to be forgotten. I know that I won't forget him and that our family and friends won't forget him, but I want everyone to remember him.

Unrealistic -Yes. . . But I'm working on that.

So with that, I will let you know that I may not write everyday. I know I will still write a lot - because I truly do enjoy it, but I won't feel obligated on a random Wednesday night to force a post out.

I will leave you with some photos from a great Saturday last weekend with a fabulous group of friends and their families.





Have a great weekend, everyone! Hopefully the sun shines and we can enjoy the outdoors!




Comments

  1. I will always be back... ;) Even if you don't post every day.

    That's just the trouble with stalkers... ;)

    ReplyDelete
  2. Jordan, even if you never wrote again here, no one that has been touched by this blog will ever forget Tripp. He is permanently engraved on our hearts and our minds, and I hope you realize that. Write when you are inspired to write and when you want to write. Don't ever feel guilty for not being here while you enjoy life doing something else.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Jordon,

    Don't ever feel guilty about not posting. I will continue to visit your blog every day...and if there isn't a post I will read an old post that inspired me, think about your family and how strong you are to have shared your story and how inspiring that is in itself. Then I will return to my day and come back the next day.

    Never force yourself to do anything that you don't enjoy. Because it isn't the fact that you are writing that inspires people or makes them remember Tripp. It is what you are feeling and what you are writing from the heart that inspires people and helps them to remember Tripp...and that happens whether you write/post once a week or 7 times a week.

    Jordan - continue to write when you are moved or compelled to write, not because you feel obligated. People will continue to follow your story and remember you, Hugh and both of your sons.

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

What I'm wearing

After my Simons' flop, I recently picked up three pairs of jegging capris at Costco. I think they were about $16 each. I got them in grey (above), teal (also above), and white. I absolutely love them and have been wearing them like crazy. My favorite of the two outfits is the bottom one. The jean jacket is Mavi and I HIGHLY recommend it. In fact, I recently bought another. Exact same style, different wash. This jacket was recommended by both Deena and Christy, so you really can't go wrong. The scarf is one I picked up this spring (Gap). I heart orange and teal. Last week I mentioned trying to define my signature look and that bottom one pretty much encapsulates it. . .
And here it is again. LOVE this one too. Cardigan and scarf are recent purchases along with the grey tee (Old Navy). Jeans are old (American Eagle) and shoes are old (Nine West). I can't wait to recreate this one!
These. Jeans. (Gap). I can't get enough of them. I wore them to professional development o…

Calder Update

Has Calder ever gotten into sports the last couple of months!?! Below he is at a Rush lacrosse game with Hugh and his buddy Kohen. Calder has been watching baseball, lacrosse, and now the hockey playoffs like crazy. In fact, he has stopped asking to watch any of his "shows". He just wants to watch sports. Oh. . . and add NASCAR to that list. Our boy loves his cars. I don't think that will ever change!

Here is Calder's funniest shark tooth yet. His permanent tooth pushed through in front of his baby tooth!  It was like this for weeks. No gap toothed grin for this boy! Below is the day it fell out!
Calder is doing so well in school. His teacher speaks of what a great student he is. Hearing her say these things actually makes me wish he used a few more manners and a bit more kindness at home! LOL. But, if he is going to be on his best behavior somewhere, I want it to be when we aren't around. Although it was great to hear about Calder's learning successes at pa…

Nicknames

All of Hugh's hockey buddies call him "Hammy".

Hugh has been calling Calder "Ham" for a long time. I can't even remember when it started.

Calder started calling Boone "Bean" when he first came home from the hospital. That evolved into "Boone Dog", "The Dog", and just simply, "Dog".  Boone is not a fan of nicknames. Often after we use one of his he will say, "I not Da Dog, I just Boone." Hilarious.

Boone has called Lawson "Dawsie" from about month two. (He called her "baby" for the first two months.) Last week Boone called her Lawson for the first time ever. It took a long time for him to put the "L" on Lawson. He would repeat after us "La La La La, Dawsie". He has said "Lawson" twice since the momentous occasion last week, but I think he got too much attention for using it and has moved back to "Dawsie". "Dawsie" likely isn't going any…