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Comfort Food

Yesterday on my drive home I was excited for spring. The sun felt warm and I imagined all of the things I was going to do outdoors over the Easter break next week. I wanted to dig the few weeds that are already coming up in my flower beds. I wanted to get some stain to finish Calder's play structure with. The zoo has been calling our name. We haven't been there in a few weeks and a visit was in order. I haven't taken my bike out for a spin yet and Calder needs some work on learning how to ride his. A game of street hockey could have been fun - and not the driveway kind we usually play - the real thing - lifting nets out of the way when traffic drives by.

Then this morning I heard the forecast. They are calling for rain-snow showers for the weekend and into next week. Sounds JUST lovely.

I am not sure if it's the upcoming weather, or just the fact that I am tired, a bit overwhelmed and beginning to get run down, but I am feeling a bit blue today.

Today was a day I thought about what I'd be doing if I had two. Tripp would be toddling around trying to play with all of Calder's monster trucks. Maybe the boys would even be starting to scrap when buckled in to the bike trailer. Today my chest feels heavy and smiling takes an effort. Tripp would have been able to point to Cleo and sign dog by now - or maybe he would even be pointing to her and saying "puppy".

I feel like comfort food and even though I have been watching what I eat and refraining from eating after supper, I'm not going to today. I am going to find some sweets and eat until I feel worse - because I know I will. After gorging I will be so full I feel sick and oozing of guilt. I don't care. Those 38 minutes that I nibble on chocolate and lick the icing off my fingers are going to be worth it.

I think.

Comments

  1. They will be. I hope you were able to enjoy them, both during and then a little bit afterwards. Sometimes you just need to treat your soul to bliss, even if it's not awesome for your body... :) <3

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