Just Jordan

After Tripp died I struggled with God. How could He do this to Tripp? To me? To our family? In hopes of finding an answer I turned to books. It's what I do - whether it be about parenting or photography, if I want to learn more I go to the book store. I knew right away a book I needed to read. I have posted about it before, but am to lazy to go back and find it :-) It is called, When Bad Things Happen to Good People , by Harold S. Kushner. Growing up I was taught that God was all-loving and all-powerful. Kushner opened my eyes to the fact that maybe God isn't both. If God is truly all-loving, would He have purposely hurt me like that? And what about Tripp? How cruel was it to give him life for a mere 5 days. Tripp never got to meet his brothers. Tripp never got to make giggle at himself in a mirror like Boone is starting to do. Tripp missed out on so, so much. If God truly loved Tripp and I, why would he purposely hurt us? Kushner challenged me to consider what I believe. ...

Calder spent Sunday night at his buddy, Dylan's house, so after Boone got up from his morning nap on Monday I fed him and thought I would take advantage of only having one kid and run some errands. Boone's butt looked a bit red so I figured he could have some naked time while I got dressed and ready to run our errands. I stripped Boone down, put him on a blanket, and gathered some toys around him. Seconds after I put him down he started to complain - he wasn't crying, just grumbling. I increased my pace and headed to the bedroom to get dressed. I knew I didn't have a lot of time. The grumbling continued as I got dressed, but after about a minute or so it stopped. I figured he found some toy that suited his current mood and decided to brush my hair and teeth while he was happy. I couldn't have been more wrong. Apparently, Boone heard my rant last week about the car seat not being a shitter. We were a mere 10 minutes away from being in the van and rather than havi...

Hugh's brother, Billy, and his daughter, Harper (9 months). Hugh and Boone (4.5 months). Pace (2.5 years), Calder (4.5 years) We feel very fortunate having Hugh's brother and his family live in the same community as us. Hugh and I are excited to help Calder and Boone build memories with these very special people. I will note that one very special person was missing from these shots, our niece, Maddy. She was at her dad's when these pictures were taken. Happy Friday.

Boone has pooped 4 times since we got back from our holiday to Calgary at the start of July. He is going anywhere from 7 to 16 days between bowel movements. This is quite common with breastfed babies and I was told by my sister-in-law, Brittany, that babies could even go a month between movements! Hugh is appalled by this and is quick to ask anyone, "Could you imagine how you would feel if you went two weeks between poops?!" Not changing poopy diapers is glorious! I am actually thinking of NEVER introducing solids so I can continue not changing poopy diapers! One of the downsides of this situation is the gas Boone produces. As he gets farther away from his most recent bowel movement the gas gets exponentially worse. I am sure you are thinking that it can't be that bad. It is. Boone's gas is worse that a full grown man's after a feast of chili dogs. I have actually had many people hand Boone back to me convinced he has filled his pants, only to have me infor...

I know this isn't the best photo of the happy couple, but because of how the day went it is the only one on my camera. If I get my hands on some jpg's from another location at some point I will be sure to share! In order to get Calder to smile nice, there always has to be the incentive of a silly photo to follow! The Ring Bearer Happy Monday!

Tomorrow is the big day. My brother, Luke, is getting married.  Luke is 5 years younger than me and for our entire childhood he was my "baby" brother. I remember attentively watching my mom change his diaper and later reading him book after book before bed. Luke and I are a lot alike. We had our own special ball game that the two of us played on our front lawn and spent hours in the winter on our outdoor rink (mostly playing hockey, as Luke would refuse to play ringette). We listened to the same music and were a united front when our sister, Jessica, went on a tear*. Even as we got older I still felt this mama bear protection for him. I would race home from University on a Friday to get Luke from school and pick him up in the wee hours of the morning when he needed a safe ride home. I think I may have been (and still are) a tiny bit overprotective of Luke - although in more recent years he has been known to be equally protective of me (an incident at the Warman Rodeo i...

If you follow Deena's blog, this post might seem a bit familiar. In fact, you may even have a feeling of deja vu when you peer at the photos. My camera was at Tobin, but unfortunately didn't have any working batteries. All photos on this post were taken by the talented, Deena. See Deena's post HERE .  This was our second ANNUAL trip with the Simairs. Dan was adamant that we couldn't call it annual before we actually had 2 under our belt!   We love hanging out with this family. Deena is always good for snapping a few selfies! In fact, I left my phone unattended and ended up with one of her on there as well! This photo of Boone is the only one of him not crying or grumpy. He was sick when we were at Tobin. He actually had a fever for almost a week with the tail end of it being on our trip. He slept like crap while we were there, crying unconsolably multiple times during the night for all 3 nights. He was under the weather for so long, I thought I had lost my...

I haven't written about Tripp in a while, but for the last few days it's all I've wanted to do. The thing about writing about him is more often than not there isn't anything new to write. I miss him. I think about him all the time. I still feel moments of envy and constantly wonder what our life would be with 3 little boys instead of 2. See, nothing new. This week there actually is a bit of new. I am anticipating a family event without Tripp. My brother, Luke is getting married to the lovely, Brittany. I am feeling similar anticipation to that I've had before some of our "firsts" or before Christmas or Mother's Day. I am sad that on one of the most special days of my brother's life, Tripp will not be there. I am sad for Luke and Brittany. I am sad for me. The great thing about Luke's wedding is that we will be surrounded by family we don't often get to see. So along with the sadness I am anticipating, I am also anticipating some great c...

Deena and her sister Kyla are doing a really cool thing over on their new blog Shoes to Shiraz. They have photographed 30 women and had them describe their 30s. Check out me today, HERE . UPDATE: Here is the write-up I did. I wanted it here so that it would appear in my blog book. Click the link to see the picture attached. I love being 33. Maybe that's not saying much, since I remember loving being 12 . . .17. . . 19. . . 25. . . 28 - Actually I pretty much have loved every age I've been! But 33 is pretty darn good. One of the best parts about 33, over any part of my 20s, is the stability in my life. My husband. My job. My permanent residence. I am so over having my eyes peeled for a potential mate and wondering where I should move to so that I could find a suitable job - that was so 24! I also like the confidence I am gaining in my 30s. I know way more about myself today than I ever have before. Twenty year old Jordan had no idea she was introverted, a writer, ...

Last weekend Calder and Hugh camped out in our back yard. They took almost every blanket from the house out to the tent. It has been getting quite cool here overnight (sometimes as low as 5 degrees) and they needed a "cushiony" bed! Calder even dug out some of his baby blankets that he hasn't used in almost a year to put in the tent! Calder was SO excited to do this. We could barely get him to listen to anything we said until it was time to head out for the "sleeping" portion of the night!  Boone and I had a visit with the big boys before it was time for Boone to hit the hay and then we snuck out there first thing in the morning for some cuddles.  I was not one bit sad that Boone "had" to stay inside for the night to get a good night's rest. Camping really isn't my thing - even it it is in the backyard. I quite enjoyed the comforts of my bed. I took advantage of sleeping alone and parked myself right in the middle of our que...

Calder did swimming lessons the last two weeks in July. Martensville has a great outdoor pool, so we took advantage and did them in our hometown. Our lessons were at 11 am which was a fantastic time for us. Calder's instructor was fabulous. She did a great job of motivating the kids, playing songs and games with them, and encouraging each of them to extend themselves a little past their comfort zone.  My only complaint about the experience was the water. It was freezing. There was a couple of times that Calder came out half way through a lesson in tears because he was so cold. I am seriously considering writing a letter to the City of Martensville. Apparently, the heater in the pool works and the cold water is being blamed on the cold weather. Having talked to a number of people who have went to some of the outdoor pools in the city, I don't buy it. If the city pools are warm, there is no reason ours can't be too. And you need to know that it isn't just co...

The last few weeks I have spent not accomplishing much. Hugh has been home quite a bit. There hasn't been a lot of hail around. This is great for crops and gardens, alike, but not good for those wanting to do a bit of work crop adjusting. Side note: Last year I had some serious hail damage in my garden, particularly my pumpkins. I LOVE my garden, so I asked Hugh if there was any insurance we could buy to protect my pride and joy. He looked at me like I was crazy and simply walked away. I took it as a no.  Hugh is the kind of dad who does half the parenting, so when he is around we are typically equally busy with the boys. The last couple of weeks with Hugh being around I have seriously slacked off. On an ordinary day when I am at home alone with the boys we have a little trip planned, I cook all the meals, am a playmate, and do household things like laundry, baking, and cleaning. I am not super mom all the time, but by the end of the day there is usually a list of things I have a...

In my rush to list all of the first for the weekend I forgot one that I am really proud of. I RAN FOR 5K! I have never ran this far before. My plan had been to run for 4.5K for the first time on Sunday, but as I neared the half way point of my run, I thought I could maybe do a full 5K. I ran it in 34:58. Seriously, I am getting psyched all over again just writing it. I am so proud of myself. My first goal was to run 5K and then to get it down to 35 minutes and I did both in one shot. My next goal is to get it down to 30 minutes by the end of September. I am running in the Elk Ridge Fun Run and this gives me 2 months to get there. I am having a bit of trouble posting my Nike + runs on Facebook. I would like to share my progress. Like I said before, I have been finding it really motivating to see my friends out there getting active. I will be seeing my sister on the weekend and she is a bit more versed in this app then I am (she helped me change it from miles to km). Happy Th...