Last Day

Today is my last day of work. . .

When I was pregnant with Boone I lasted until Christmas, so making it to the end of the semester feels like an accomplishment. People keep asking me how I feel, and truthfully, I feel crappy. My body seriously hurts. Between Braxton Hicks 30 - 40 times a day, back pain and SERIOUS pelvic pain, most days I am barely moving (and certainly not setting any speed records doing it). I actually might feel physically worse at this point in my pregnancy compared to where I was with Boone, but my stress level has not been the same. I did a lot of worrying about Boone's health during my pregnancy. I lost sleep. I shed tears. I'm not saying I haven't worried about this babe, but only a small fraction of the amount. In fact, a couple of weeks ago I had a dream this baby had NH and was really sick in the hospital. When I woke up I told Hugh about the nightmare, stating, "I had the worst dream. Our baby was sick". Hugh responded, "What were they sick with?" He feels so confident this baby is going to be healthy, he has been able to prevent his mind from even going NH. What a change this is from 2 years ago for both of us.  It is my understanding that Dr. Whittington has a theory about the severity of NH. If a baby has a severe case (say a child was stillborn at 25 weeks), you are likely to have a severe case in subsequent pregnancies (maybe your IVIG baby needs a hospital stay in NICU before going home). The outcome of NH is almost always death - but Tripp was born at 35.5 weeks and lived for 5 days. Then my IVIG baby had some signs of NH, but they were so minimal he came home with us a day after he was born. I think it terms of NH, we may be the lucky ones? Okay. Now I may be worrying. Enough thinking about it. Let's just say I am optimistic (most of the time).

Today, not only am I saying good-bye to teaching for a year, I may be saying good-bye to my current building. I have been at my school for 8 years and have already returned after 3 maternity leaves (which quite likely could be a division record). Our division believes in moving teachers to different buildings and 8 years and 4 maternity leaves will probably mark the end of my stay here. I am a creature of habit. An introvert. Moving schools will not be easy for me. I will be uncomfortable. I will be nervous. It will take me a long time to adjust. BUT, I think I am more okay with the idea of leaving this building then I ever have been. So, maybe it is a good time to go. . . . Not my decision, so I will have to wait and see how things play out. Wow. Am I growing as a person? I am living for the next few months without having a plan for my return to teaching. And it sounds like I am okay with it.?! Progress, people. Progress.

If you want to see how I was feeling about being done work with Boone, feel free to have a read HERE. It even surprises me how differently I was feeling! Have a wonderful Friday!

Comments

  1. Great post Jordan! Enjoy maternity leave...rest and relax. Hugs and Prayers!

    ReplyDelete
  2. I swear... we could be twins.

    Pain, fear, and getting the boot... ;)

    Oh, and then matching EDD's this time. :)

    ReplyDelete

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