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Lessons From Tripp

A good friend posted THIS on her Facebook wall stating, "Jordan this reminded me of some of the great yet terrible ways you have taught me to be a better friend." 

How true. Good can come from tragedy if we choose to learn from it. The article is titled, "6 Mistakes People Make When a Friend's Child Dies", but I think the lessons transfer to a number of situations. 

For me #4 really hit home. The first Christmas is hard and seeing pictures of other people's healthy bundles ripped at my soul. I found birth announcements even harder. I know they were never sent with the intention to hurt, but part of me just felt like healthy babies were all around me, yet I didn't have the one I wanted in my arms. The cards were a fast reminder of how unfair things had become in my life and what I had lost. Just over a year after Tripp passed my cousin and his wife sent me a birth announcement and thank-you card for their precious little bundle M. Inside the envelope was a thank-you card and inside that card was a sealed envelope. On the sealed envelope there was a note from my cousin's wife letting me know there was a picture of M. inside and not to feel obligated to look open it. The thoughtfulness made me cry. The envelope with the picture sat on our counter for almost a week and when I was ready I opened it. I still had a few tears, but they were joined by a smile. 

Number 6 on the list was also a big one for me, but probably not the way you think. Hugh and I were very proactive in seeking counselling. I think we met with Brad for the first time as early as 1.5 or 2 weeks after Tripp died. I actually didn't learn #6's lesson from Tripp. No one told me to seek counselling because I already had.  I learned lesson #6 from a loved one. This person was having some difficulties and it didn't matter what I said, I couldn't seem to make them feel differently. I couldn't come up with any ways to help them cope with what they were going through. On more than one occasion I suggested they seek counselling. It had really helped us and I thought if I couldn't help my loved one, maybe someone else could. Turns out I was way wrong on this one. Watch THIS video by Brene Brown. This little video solidified what I have learned about empathy. Its message will definitely help me be a better wife, daughter, sister, friend, colleague, etc. Well worth the 3 minutes


  1. Love!!!!! I feel like we could have a good conversation about this


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