Just Jordan

Today is the end of my IVIG treatments. Part of me can't believe it is here and the other part thinks it took an eternity. These treatments started out as a bit of a novelty. A day away from work. Six hours to sleep, read, knit, and relax. It wasn't quite a spa day, but parts of it were really great. As the weeks wore on it got harder to leave my classroom ( I truly believed that my students learned best when I was there. Not to take ANYTHING away from the people who covered my classes - they were fabulous - kids just thrive with a routine and consistency), c hecking Facebook statuses all day started getting boring, and the 8 am start time got exhausting. These last few weeks have been especially hard. I am sure part of that is due to the end being so near, but it has also been frightfully cold and leaving the house at all has become a chore. This experience has given me a greater appreciation for anybody who goes in on a regular basis for a medical treatment (like thos...

A while ago I asked Michelle Horvath if she would draw a portrait of both Calder and Tripp. Although she doesn't do commission work anymore, she read about our journey and wanted to be a part of it. I am so thrilled she did. The portraits turned out beautifully.  Calder is on the left; Tripp is on the right. Now, hopefully I can convince her to do a third so I can have a matching set :-)

Hugh has been telling me to "Pack my suitcase" for over a month. No, he isn't kicking his pregnant wife to the curb! He knows me and doesn't want to be involved in the panic that will ensure in our house if I go into labour without a packed bag. I have been avoiding doing anything to get ready for this baby. I haven't bought a single thing. I haven't pulled out any baby items, cloth diapers, monitors, bedding or even a single sleeper. I don't want to be in a position to have to return items to a store, or even pack away a tub of clothing if this baby doesn't come home. I didn't even want to pack a suitcase and it wasn't until last week that I realized that one of the very few things I can actually bank on is giving birth to this baby. I don't know what the process will look like, but this babe is only getting bigger and it can't stay all cosy in my belly forever. So although, I refuse to make plans for bringing a baby home, I can ...

You may have noticed that I am following a new blog called, Just a Peanut Butter Mother . The author, Andrea, is a long time friend of mine. She lived in a town about 1/2 hour from Tisdale and we played ball together growing up. She is a fabulous ball player and fiercely competitive - let's just say we got along smashingly :-) One of my favorite "Andrea" moments, not surprisingly, came at the diamond. I think I was relaying some story about how my current boyfriend was deathly afraid of my dad. I mean, I knew completely why this teenage boy was afraid of my dad, but still it annoyed me. My dad was a butcher. He looked angry most of the time. His nickname was "Hacksaw." And to top it off, my dad probably said less than 10 words to the boy in the almost year we dated. In hindsight, that may have had something to do with the fact that Dad couldn't remember my boyfriend's name. This is a flaw of my dad's. One time in high school my dad asked me who was...

On Thursday morning Calder and I headed to the Soccer Center for a Drop-in Playgroup.  They have an abundance of toys for kids ages 6 months to 5 years spread out on one of the fields and there is plenty of space for kids to run and play. I met two moms that morning. Both asked me if I was expecting my 2nd. This question is a hard one for me. I have struggled with it since the moment Tripp died. But on Thursday, I told both of those mom's that I was expecting my 3rd. It used to really bother me when I would divulge that information and then not get some sort of, "I'm so sorry" in return. I am beginning to realize that when I don't get it, it isn't because the person isn't sorry. It is because I have shocked them with what I've said and they are struggling to respond in any way. So when only one of the mom's said it, I was truly okay with it. I also think that because I am getting more comfortable saying it, I am better able to read other peop...

My skin colour matches our walls in this picture. That is not good! I will be 34 weeks on Wednesday!   I am really trying to focus on enjoying each moment of this pregnancy. I am starting to get a bit anxious to have this baby - I want to know FOR SURE it is healthy, but I also know that these last moments with my baby safely stowed away in my belly are really special too. On Friday I had a doctor's appointment. I have 2 more IVIG appointments left (they finish at 35 weeks) and I asked Dr. M why they don't go right up to the moment we have the baby. She said that there is some indication that the treatment provides no benefit after 35 weeks and that there is a school of thought that it is better for the baby to have all of the IVIG out of my system when I go into labour. I am definitely NOT sad I only have 2 treatments left - Just scared about what that means for my baby (I don't want my stupid antibodies attacking). I had an ultrasound on Friday as well. Dr. M said...

I have been feeling a bit out of sorts the last couple of days. In an effort to pin down what is going on I have stumbled on sad, worried, stressed, tired, sore, and scared. None of these emotions have been overwhelming, but I have been constantly feeling some lingering residue of them the past few days. Ultimately I think it boils down to the fact that there are so many things I want to do, but physically can't. I get crampy, sore, and tired extremely easily. I would say I can do about 1/2 an hour of walking around at a time - and then I need at least an hour on the couch to get back to feeling "normal". I can't even sit at the computer for extended periods without my Braxton Hicks getting out of control. I know I am at home to take it easy, but it sucks when I feel like I am not accomplishing anything in a day. My only saving grace has been Calder. He has been home with me, save a couple of afternoons a week. I have moments of feeling like super mom (making heal...