Tripp
July 23 I have been surrounded by dozens of lovely people since the start of July, but since the beginning of the month there has been a constant nag pulling at me. I just can't seem to shake its weighty pull. In fact, it has gotten to the point that I am reveling in the nag, even encouraging it to consume me. Grief is a horrible beast that I will likely never truly understand. It started on our first family vacation with Lawson. She completed our family and as we drove I realized that we were at a new beginning. Life is full of new beginnings and our van packed to the rim with our three little beings was just the most recent. I thought about Tripp at every turn. Where would he sit, where would he sleep, how would he travel, what would his excitement look like, would he like to swim, would he look more like Calder or Boone. My "what ifs" have continued to haunt me since we returned from the coast. I know it is dumb. I know I need to stop. I am torturing myself. It...